Home > German, Italian, Personal blog, Stop the hoax > Hoax – a way of grieving?

Hoax – a way of grieving?

Through my videos on YouTube, I have gotten a lot of comments and messages from those investigating or studying the hoax – from now on called hoaxers – about, what it is that makes them go on and on..

Many of them tell me this is their way of grieving, mourning their big loss, finding meaning in everything.

When someone close to you dies, it is devastating and you grieve in a certain way that fits you. I feel tempted to say that the hoax-grief is some kind of mass hysteria, where people inflicts others with their mourning and grief, and this all escalate into something of huge dimensions.
None of them will get out on the other side of this grief, as long as thousands of others keeps it alive.

So how many hoaxers are there? Well the biggest hoax forums has around 3000+ members, and the same goes for some of the most well-known hoax video makers on YT. Then there are those who don’t make videos, don’t write in forums, but just read and watch in silence. Let’s round the numbers up to 5000 hoaxers.

These 5000 people can only grieve by nitpicking their beloved idol, Michael Jackson, and his closest. No details are too small to be included. We want the truth, they say – no matter what it might be.

Well, the truth they think they are finding, might very well be something different, from the real truth. Because I see a tendency to only accept those items, that fit’s neatly into their box of truth. All other possibilities are discarded. Is this then denial?

Now imagine Michael really is gone, and this how you pay respect to him. By picking his life apart in atoms, and displaying all these weird theories – some of them even criminal – is that how you want the future to know Michael Jackson? I don’t think any of us want’s that..

The fans who does not participate in the hoax, and they are much bigger in number than the hoaxers and just as sorry for the loss of Michael, are hurt by all the things the hoaxers posts about Michael. But hoaxers don’t seem to care much about that, because this is their way of grieving, and then others feelings matter less to them. Does this means that hoaxers are more egoistic than other fans? I think so..

The future fans of Michael will search YouTube and the Internet to get to know their idol, and all the hoax videos and hoax forum postings will be there too. You might not be aware of it, but there are Internet Archives that contains websites from years back. Things don’t go away on the Internet. Ever..

This is why I earlier have talked about the importance of making your forums private, because materials that requires a log in, can’t be cached by these archives. And you minimize the number of people who can accidentally read in your forum or find your postings on Google.
Some of the forums are already private, but some of the biggest are not. And this makes reading very easy. If you care about Michael, please make your forums private.

Better yet; get to terms with what happened. Stop the hoax and spent your resources on paying tribute to Michael instead of what you are doing today. Celebrate the life he lived, not the death he got.

  1. sharonlynnmc1
    May 19, 2010 at 00:58

    Zilda for me, when I started watching the “Hoax” videos, it was a way not to have to grief for the loss of Michael. To believe he was still alive and well. It was hard for me at first to stop watching because I felt like I was giving up on believing and accepting the un-mentionable. Now, with the help of you and msdanish I have over come those feelings and realized that I could still believe. I want to say to you, “Don’t ever give up on you mission”. Because of you and msdanish I can love Michael the way he deserves to be loved. I am comfortable within my self to know that I do not have to find him to believe he is still here. We all miss him and love him more, Sharon

  2. Z
    May 26, 2010 at 00:47

    THANK YOU SOOOOOOO MUCH for this post & the rest of the related articles on this trend. I also want to say that your “STOP THE HUNT” logo made quite an impression on me. It made me re-examine & re-evaluate a lot of things that just SEEMED to have somehow “taken over” my life during the past months since 25 June 2009. I now realise what had ensued wasn’t a chance or some “force” that made me go down the road I’ve been, but that it was a choice & decision that I, myself made!
    I’ve ALWAYS LOATHED these neat little “categories” that many of us MJ fans have assigned each under. In addition to the largest one (“BeLIEver” versus Non-BeLIEver), there are also several micro classifications as well (such as True/Old fans versus Fake/New fans). GOOD GRIEF, SO MUCH FOR THE GREAT “L.O.V.E” THAT NEARLY ALL OF US CLAIM TO UNDERSTAND SO WELL & WRITE SO EARNESTLY & ELABORATELY ABOUT!!! Now, that is what ought to be termed “SELECTIVE HYPOCRISY”!
    I wasn’t among those intelligent “hoax pundits” of people who immediately thought that there was something wrong or not quite right about “the news” of 25.06.09. NOTHING about the Tv coverage & news reports made me go “hmmm”. ALL that I was aware of was that I was unbelievably SHOCKED. Perhaps the fact that MJ had been such a HUGE part of my childhood & he had ALWAYS maintained this mysterious quality of being ageless & timeless had more than a little something to do with it. But more than the shock itself, I was TOTALLY unprepared for HOW THE NEWS OF HIS PASSING affected me personally. Like I said before, he is entwined quite closely in my childhood memories (courtesy of people in my family being BIG fans), but after I grew out of my teenage years, I didn’t exactly follow him or his music. So, I was VERY confused by the barrage of emotions that just hit me out of nowhere since I heard the news. First, I went on reading/watching frenzy, during which I read & watched ANYTHING & EVERYTHING that I could about him. The more I read & the more I watched, instead of appeasing me, kept making me feel so VERY SAD. Next, I went on a MAJOR buying frenzy, but going broke didn’t help me feel any better either. So, I tried to “connect” to his fans, to try & understand what I was going through myself. But reading about their pain did little to console me too. I just felt ANGRY, oddly “cheated” & just plain sad.
    Oneday, I came across the old MJHD site & for a minute I forgot all else as I was struck by what I then assumed was the enormity of his fans’ grief that made them go into denial BIG TIME. I concluded that it was perhaps their way of dealing with the pain (because frankly, the bits that I read there when it first came out bordered around LUDICROUS!). But despite myself, I felt myself constantly checking the website, secretly yearning (but not actually admitting that, even to myself) that it would improve & fill the void with HOPE. In retrospect, I know I should have been aware of what I was doing, but perhaps my need to believe was much greater for me to recognise anything else.
    I soon started watching hoax-related videos on youtube. One, in particular made such a huge impression on me & because I was very curious for MORE, I ended up joining the forum that posted it. I made sure that everyone understood that I were a skeptic. But everyone was so nice, caring & understanding that I didn’t want to leave at all. For the first time in weeks, I stopped feeling plain BAD. So before long, I was soon a “convertee” (or at least, I was convinced that I was truly one of them “BeLIEvers too). Now that I think about it, perhaps I was afraid that I would lose my new-found friends if I weren’t one of them in very sense of the word. For several weeks, my life just revolved around the hoax & my time spent online (that just kept increasing).
    It took me a while to realise that my life kept getting CRAZIER by the day & that it just couldn’t go on in that trend for much longer. So, I FORCED myself to go away for a while, to get some much-needed perspective(s) back into focus. During my time away, I realised that I just can’t go on letting MJ be the centre of my universe, no matter how much I wished it!!! But I still didn’t want to lose my friends either. So, I kept returning back, hoping that I would be able to explain how I felt. But each time I came back, so many of them were so busy & so serious with the hoax (or as some like to say “the quest for the truth”) that I didn’t have the heart to talk to them. Their dedication awed me BIG TIME. I didn’t want to belittle their efforts (which I truly did & do admire & was awed by!) or to be some boring, doomsday prophet. So, I did the next best thing I could do-I simply told them that since I was quite busy with my life I was unable to spend as much time on the hoax as I did before (which wasn’t a lie either!). And I kept on popping in & out of the forums (partly because I was INTENSELY curious & partly because I wished to be a part of the TEAM again).
    SO MUCH has happened since then-back when we first formed & joined these “hoax” forums. Not all of them necessarily always about MJ or friendships or making a difference. Some incidents were even quite UGLY that fills me with shame & sadness for ALL OF US. How on earth did all this become so very warped & twisted! Some of us had such high hopes; some of us truly wanted to be that change ourselves, but with time, it all started going SO HORRIBLY, TERRIBLY WRONG!!! 😥
    To be honest, today I really don’t know if I’m a “BeLIEver” or just simply a “wannabe BeLIEver”. The idea of a hoax certainly has it charms besides the obvious one (that of bringing back MJ somehow, I mean). It’s not everyday that we hear of (let alone actually feel a part of!) something this unusual & grand, on such a large-scale. The very idea appeals to the adventurous & child-like bit in all of us that it makes us wish to believe in magic & the impossible all over again. It also serves to be a heady diversion from our “normal”, everyday lives & routines. We want this to be true so that it may serve to encourage us to make our own bold changes & “statements”. Somewhere along the way, we have somehow “personalised” this hoax; adopting that into our personal lives & adapting to the changes. And trust me, you are not alone there. No matter how many of us wish to live/play our fantasies of a cross between James Bond-Agatha Christie-Sherlock Holmes (in other words, insist that they are merely “investigating” this just simply “for the truth”!), we can’t turn a blind eye to the whole mix of different emotions that are so entangled with this. Please don’t get me wrong: I am neither negating nor supporting that the idea of MJ faking his own death/still being alive (although, given his insecurities about his looks & ageing, as the time period keeps increasing, I’m more inclined to doubts) here. For the simple reason that I’ve NOW accepted that I would NEVER know FOR SURE, unless MJ himself (or someone in his family) wishes us to disclose/share that with us in PLAIN English (& not via the means of the popular “clues or hints”!)!!!
    ALL I know for sure is that I no longer wish to see this trend of “deifying” MJ (some of us like him fine as a human being, you know!). Nor do I wish to believe that he deliberately chose & planned all of this (the connotations of which have ALWAYS bothered me!). I also wish for us to stop hurting others, however unwittingly, with our allegations & implications (his family & non-believers being examples). MJ desperately sought privacy, wished to live in blessed anonymity nearly ALL his life (well, except maybe when he was on stage performing & with his music, of course! 😉 ). It is no secret. So, now that he is no longer here in person, why is it so hard for us extend that courtesy to those nearest & dearest to him?!?
    Somewhere along the line we JUST HAVE to learn to set limitations upon ourselves. There are MANY of us who simply NO LONGER wish to see or hear self-appointed spokespersons for MJ in his absence (I MOST DEFINITELY AM ONE!). Some of us have NO problem with the MJ that we have grown to recognise, respect & appreciate. We have no right to impose our personal views/beliefs & to interfere with others’ image of him-the image of his unparalleled persona that we wish to iconise for future generations. PLEASE DON’T try to demean how we (as individuals) CHOOSE to remember MJ!!! This isn’t about “giving up on MJ’s return” at all (I have a feeling that if he is really alive & wishes to return, he is quite capable of doing that without “help” from any of us!). IT’S ABOUT LEARNING TO MAKE CONSCIOUS, WISE DECISIONS (based on the choices that are & have always been there), for the GREATER GOOD. Whether we ever receive “the answers” that we seek or not, we JUST HAVE TO learn to let go & move ahead with our own lives. And help others do the same too.
    Here’s wishing us ALL the best of luck to find inner peace & hopefully special meanings behind what we don’t know/understand…

  3. KiraLovesMichael (VampKira)
    August 12, 2010 at 23:11

    Beautifully put, Z. 🙂

  1. August 28, 2010 at 22:45

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